wondering

"And I am still wondering you are part of us too..."

my body is here but my soul is not at all.

maaf,ma

I believe that the only one who regrets my decision about this future is my mom.
I can see it though her eyes, everytime she talks to me bout this..
she has changed, the regrets did.
I am sorry..I have done my best not to show you what I am feeling. I am cracking too
And the one who broke everything, never ever apologize to me..in person.

eyes that you don't have

"Ndut,jangan tinggalin aku sendirian disini. Aku wes sok tahan disini, kalo ga ada kamu piye"
"kamu rela gitu aku ga bahagia?"
"yo gak se..." and she's about to cry.

pagi ini

I always have breakfast with mom, we keep talking the same thing since 29th July 2012. And today was the most painful...

"Tadi malem mama mimpi, mama gapapa kalo kamu taun depan mau nyoba lagi. Tapi internasional yang FE, kan biayanya ga sebesar FK. Terus kamu mau,"

and you know what
Intan and I have talked this topic for days.
you got me,mom

sisa sisa perjuangan

dakota ku sembuh which means all those shits tentang UI masih tersimpan rapi.
Betapa bangganya aku  pernah memperjuangkan hal tersebut dengan sebegitu keras
and now what?

"I am not supposed to be here and what the hell I am doing here"

itu aku, sekarang.